Tuesday, May 20, 2008

parenting credibility

by Robert B Litchfield BYU

Talk less, Act more

Consistant follow thru-. We talk because we don’t want to act. (Shame, warn, threat, rage, guilt, remind, nag)Why? Tired, don’t know how. Do not be quick to say NONO means NOInstead say, “I doubt it, but let me think about it”

Damage credibility- 1. Exaggerated threats2. Consequences that punish parent too much3. Do not identify consequences for flexibility. Just say, “There will be consequences”. Fear of unknown.4. Do not make decisions under pressure from kids5. Do not rescue children from consequences. (Break butterfly out of cocoon too soon. Exercise wings)

Relationship- 1. Do not put approval before respect (or parents are used and abused by kids) 2. Leader vs. friend 3. Balance nurturing with accountability 4. Set atmosphere in home (morning, afterschool, evening) 5. Same team, their side 6. Physical affection 7. Isolation vs. spend time together. Problem teens spend to much time in isolation, alone on computer, music, hangout, Nintendo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Actions speak louder than works, of course. And credibility is everything - you gotta follow through. This is sound, solid advice.