Saturday, April 26, 2008

self-esteem therapy

Be Honest- with self and others. *Responsibility vs. blame - Take full responsibility for your life, stop blaming others. *Be in charge of your thoughts - Consciously generate rational thoughts and feelings of approval for yourself and acceptance in place of old thoughts of inferiority and inadequacy. *Lifestyle & Associates – Avoid toxic relations. Be willing to create a lifestyle that generates, nourishes, and maintains sound self esteem (associate with others who have high self-esteem) *Live Life - Participate in life at the highest level you can – do things you like to do. *Stop being critical - Watch what you say, avoid self put-downs, stop being critical of yourself and others. *Focus on the present - Keep your awareness (thoughts) focused in the present time instead of living in the past or future. *Self-sufficient vs. needy - See yourself as being self-sufficient – don’t come from need in relationships. *Cause and effect vs. guilt - Stop feeling guilty – see mistakes as valuable lessons. See the cause and effect in your behavior (what produces desirable results and what does not) in place of moral judgments of right/wrong, good/bad, and better/worse. *Love self - Treat yourself lovingly every chance you get – be your own best lover! *Simple pleasures - Give yourself the simple pleasures in life. *Diary of strengths - Positively acknowledge yourself frequently and keep a diary of all your strengths, qualities and accomplishments. *Goals & opportunities - Set goals, make plans and look for the opportunities that can help you get the results you want in life. *List likes - Make list of all the things you like about yourself and add to it everyday *List enjoy - Make a list of 10 – 20 things you enjoy the most and make an agreement to do them frequently. *Invest money in yourself – go to seminars, workshops, start a self-enhancement account. *Schedule nothing - Give yourself permission to do nothing, periodically. Schedule time by yourself. *Don’t Compare - Avoid comparing yourself to others – see yourself as being of equal worth. Remember our value as human beings is not derived from what we do. *Accept compliments - Accept others acknowledgments and compliments – do not invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you. Say “thank you” and let yourself enjoy them without embarrassment. *Accept others - Stop trying to change/ fix others. *Acknowledge others - frequently, tell them what you like and appreciate about them (especially your family, partners, and work associates). *Should vs. Want - Whenever you have a thought that starts with “ I have to” “ I ought to” “I need to”, I should” "I better”, change it to “ want to” or I choose to” *Breath - Frequently take deep breaths – discover the benefits and pleasure of breathing fully. *Laugh - Be willing to laugh at yourself, and with others. Stop taking yourself so seriously. *Be assertive - speak up for yourself. Ask for what you want, express your feelings, preferences and opinions openly and without fear. Accept “no” as okay. *Be respectful - of others feelings and opinions. Pay it forward *Just be- You have worth no matter what

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